If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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