I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I will be naked everywhere
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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