You smell like a Billy Joel song
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
