your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
