i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
