i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
