why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize