sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We need to get me chipped asap
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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