I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
