The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i think my cat just said my name.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
