Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
