he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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