i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
