The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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