i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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