And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
