I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
