All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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