i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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