im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
