i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
