dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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