I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
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Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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