Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
