You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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