Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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