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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy

  (586): View more from Michigan

  But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Define "chronic" masturbator.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  yea

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  turns out that you did...and i just found it.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?

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• (619): View more from California

  Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.

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• (650): View more from California

  you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.

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