I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
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just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.