I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I understand Curling. That high.
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?