i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.