i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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