Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.