so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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