Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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