plz talk dirty to me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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