We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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