im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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