I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
