Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
