I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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