right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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