she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize