No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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