I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
