I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
