I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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