Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
