it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
