she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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