But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
