I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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