she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
