how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
