Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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