You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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