you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
