I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.