she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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