Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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