Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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