i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
