Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
