New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize