If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
