i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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