Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
