let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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