was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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