1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
