marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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