Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
